


Butterflies

by anatari



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Age Difference, Coach Ukai Angst, F/M, Ukai Keishin/reader angst, Ukai keishin fluff, Ukai keishin nsfw, haikyuu angst, haikyuu nsfw, reader POV
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:49:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26655427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anatari/pseuds/anatari
Summary: "Get your mind right Kid!"My mind wandered off but instead of being angry, a thought fluttered on my mind, ever so gently like a butterfly admiring a flower amidst the summer breeze, the reason why I smiled despite your rejection"I can't...I'm already drawn to you"
Relationships: Ukai Keishin/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 1

"kid, you shouldn't be here" a voice startled me from behind

I shrugged it off and looked away, boredom evident in my voice  
"neither should you...you came here to hide from your responsibilities?"

I gawked at him as he laid his eyes on me, probably figuring out that I was a student of this school.

It was Monday afternoon and I'm here at the back of the school in hopes of finding a quiet spot to rest my mind however a man just showed up and I was annoyed by the intrusion  
"I didn't come here to hide" he answered after my sarcastic remark

I looked away from his frown, I've never seen him before so he's probably not a teacher, which means I don't have to put up with anything he has to say

"so you came here to see me then?" I muttered after the silence

He was surprised at my unnecessary reply, I knew and I was judging from the look in his eyes. If he''s not a teacher, he's definitely an outsider who wandered off here.

He rubbed his neck and let out a deep groan  
"just get back to your class kid"

I rolled my eyes "you're an outsider aren't you Sir? You know outsiders aren't allowed here"

The monday skies glowed, there was no raincloud in sight, the shadows of the building protected me from the sun rays so the heat was tolerable

"I coach the volleyball team here" he fished for a cigarette from his pocket and pressed it against his lips, with one fell swoop, he took a lighter and placed the stick over its little flame

"kid, just an advice, you shouldn't be out in suspicious corners wasting your youth away, don't you have friends?"

I felt like he was mocking me, still I replied "I have friends and I also have a quiz to take this 4PM, I came here to regain my focus, thank you for ruining that with your presence"

He laughed...a gentle laugh that escaped from his mouth, pursed because a cigarette was in between it.  
"I'm actually a graduate of Karasuno and I remember being like this too, running off behind buildings" his eyes lit up but mine was uninterested 

"well, good for you" I looked away

I figured out it was time to head back to the classroom and leave this man. If I stay any longer, he'll probably tell me the story of his life.

I pulled my back from the wall and lazily waved "I'm going now" 

He didn't reply, probably busy from inhaling the toxicity of his cigarette, I took one final glance at him and when I did, he was already gazing at me.

And he smiled.

The bell rang and I shook my head. My legs did its best to continue walking and my senses has been set at flight mode. I slowly gathered my composure from a distance  
"what the hell? he's a creep!

"but..." a sudden thought came into my mind

"I wonder why I looked back though"

𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙠𝙞𝙥, 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙚𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙠𝙨 𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙧...

“you’re coming right?” Shimizu casually muttered.

I shifted my eyes on her and replied “of course, I wouldn’t want to leave you”

She finally let go of her breathe, the one she took in before she asked me to come to Karasuno’s Training Camp this weekend.

Her eyes lit up in gratitude as she hugged me while a smile formed on her lips “I really appreciate your help”  
She took a step back, her hair golden against the sunset rays  
“I’ll be going now” and headed out to go elsewhere.

She’s probably going to the school gym again.

𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙠𝙞𝙥

The day of the training camp came, it was a calm Saturday, a little dark cloud was hanging on the horizon that early morning and when it came for me to head to the bus stop, the rain poured.  
Karasuno’s school bus, the one the volleyball team is using to get to the training camp would be waiting for me and I’m not there, what an inconvenience.

I fished for my phone and sent Shimizu a text 

“it’s raining and I don’t have an umbrella, I’ll just wait when the rain stops, it won’t be long anyway” the small clicks when I tapped each letters sounded satisfying to my ears, like it were dominos falling according to calculations.

My phone buzzed after a short while and I brought it to my face, smiling at Shimizu’s approval “Okay, text me when you get here”

The rain stopped and before I knew it, I was standing at the gates of the training camp. Shimizu was there, welcoming me with a smile

“Glad you’re safe, thank you for coming with me, I really appreciate it” he motioned for us to keep walking to the gym

When I arrived at the scene, I saw familiar faces, the faces of our school volleyball team. I already memorized their presence despite not knowing their names because a poster of their victory against Aoba Josai is hanged at Karasuno's hallways featuring their proud grins and hopeful eyes.

Shimizu cleared his throat and pointed at the players just ahead of us “This is Karasuno’s volleyball team, please don’t be intimidated by them, they are actually nice”

We stood by for a couple of minutes, watching their swift movements. I’m not an expert in volleyball but I could tell their attacks are strong. 

When someone shouted “let’s go”, Shimizu nodded for me to follow her as we went near the bench where they were resting. 

And amidst the loud voices from the players who were joking with one another, one rose and intrigued me

“okay, we’ll be focusing on your attacks for today and tomorrow” He called out and realization embraced my puzzled mind

“yes coach!” My brain was still processing but something in me knew what’s going to happen next. I wanted to get out of here but it'd be strange to just randomly leave.

“Shimizu, the towels please” he faced us, I was beside her but I felt his eyes on me

“Coach Ukai, this is Eclipsa” Shimizu smiled as she gracefully placed her hand on my shoulders.

The players behind us were starting to cause a ruckus in the court and I wished he would do something about it rather than stare at me like I was some jewelry display enclosed in a delicate glass that would easily break if someone would just try to but then again, they’d get in trouble and so no one will ever will. 

“nice of you to come with us, without Takeda-sensei, Shimizu’s the one who does all the work” he finally said something 

In the midst of whatever was happening, Shimizu spoke  
“I’m just going to get the towels”.  
She pointed to a little rack behind a closed door

“I’ll come with you” I quickly replied

She shook her head and removed my grip from her wrist “no, it’s okay, it’s not heavy at all” she smiled at me and took a step forward on these wooden floors.

“oh okay” I gave up the thought but another question came alive again “I came here to help her…at least I should do some work?” I fiddled around my own purpose of going here

The air felt silent despite everything that’s happening inside this busy building  
“so uh…you can sit at the bench beside the court” he cleared his throat so that I could hear him better amidst the voices of the players echoing through the gym

“I should really go with Shimizu” 

“you came here to hide?” he fiddled with his water bottle, looked up and gave me a smile. My mind suddenly remembered how I spat out the same words to him the first time we met. 

“I didn’t come here to hide” I avoided the gaze in his eyes, noticing that my rude act is over for me and my voice slowly died out in the middle of my sentences

“then you came here to see me then?” And now he’s using my own words against me

I pulled myself together and frowned at him “I’m here because of Shimizu, not for your crap“

“oi, watch your mouth, kid” he chuckled, I averted my gaze to the court in an attempt to stop this conversation but my sultry mouth went off anyway

“What? You’re going to tell me to “respect the elderly now?”  
I didn't want to see his reaction so I glued my eyes to the court, staring at how Daichi recovers the ball that was blocked by Tsukishima 

“haha” a sarcastic laugh escaped Ukai's lips “I don’t know what’s your problem but do whatever you want as long as it doesn’t stain Karasuno’s image”

“well that being said, I have a lot of water bottles to fill up” I turned my back because I couldn’t stay here any longer, really. I hate how he had to be there that day and now we have a common ground. 

“solidify your formation while keeping your composure for an attack!” his authority filled the gym as I walked out the door.

***********  
𝗞𝗮𝗿𝗮𝘀𝘂𝗻𝗼 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗖𝗮𝗺𝗽, 𝗗𝗮𝘆 3  
12: 09 𝗣𝗠

I was standing outside the room where Shimizu and I are staying, I was entertained by the little fireflies that flickered in the air. I couldn’t really sleep and after a few minutes, it bored me. I went down and lazily strolled across the hallways, not having a reason for being down here, I kept my eyes locked to the ceiling.

From a distance, I saw a park bench and figured out I can sit there to kill time. I pulled my arms around me and leaned my head back, taking in the crisp evening air. My mind wandered off, thinking about how I ended up here when I could be studying at home, something that I’m sick of doing. 

Happiness is a butterfly and I want to chase it like a child with wounded knees not wanting to stop, because to a child, to be able to hold a butterfly is probably the most wonderful thing ever, its beauty enough to make up for the pain.

But then again, butterflies only live for two weeks at most and then they die.

“oi kid, you’re not supposed to be here” a familiar voice emerged from the dark and so I opened my eyes and the view of Coach Ukai walking to me kinda pissed me off

“great, just when I wanted to relax” I rolled my eyes

His body sank next to mine, on this small wooden bench. I never really observed the details but his physique piqued my curiosity, I heard from Shimizu that he was a former setter, probably why he’s the coach aside from the fact that his grandfather was also the former coach of Karasuno.  
A responsibility passed down, that would be a nuisance if it happened to me.

“every time you speak, it’s just a repetition of our first conversation” I sprung from my thoughts and called him out 

“well what else am I supposed to say? it’s late after all” he ran his hands on his hair, probably puzzled

“so you’re enjoying this whole thing?”

“what thing?” I raised my eyebrows at him. I’m not trying to start a conversation so he shouldn’t too. After all, he’s always the one who shows up out of nowhere and…it would make me feel less lonely. I tried ignoring how his presence would calm me down and I told myself that it was just because I wasn’t going out anymore, so used to that routine that when he pops out of nowhere, it hits different. Much like a metamorphosis I want to go through without ever thinking where I would end up…but not knowing where I would end up electrifies me even more. 

Why is my mind rambling bullshit?

Maybe, I like him.

I had a feeling he was talking about the tension every time our eyes met. 

“training camp” he pulled my mind from the thought that this situation has escalated

I exhaled my relief “oh, well it’s alright, I did some fun things”

“and those fun thing are?” He immediately countered, the lump in my throat tightened and all of a sudden I was trying to swallow my fear, I clenched my hands unto the bench and my heart drummed like it was trying to be heard. He speaks as if he needs to know, as if he has to or maybe it's just me.

I didn’t do anything wrong, I know it but when he asked me in that tone, something in me panicked and I snapped

“I was with Shimizu, we uh” I fumbled through my mind, the wind blew my hair away and it kinda resembled how my composure was slowly falling apart

The next thing he said danced into my mind like a song I could never forget and I want to hear it over and over again

“well, that’s fine, you can handle yourself right?” 

The white light bulb shone on his little monochromatic smile and I swore I saw the colors of the rainbow in him.

I nodded. We both fell quiet listening to the sound of vehicles buzzing from a distance. The air between us lasted for about a minute, I bit my lip to gather my courage, to be able to voice out what I’m about to tell him

“don’t stop talking” My breathe hitched, I intended to mutter it softly but my plan failed

He slowly turned his eyes to me and chuckled, voice so deep I thought it reached the cracks of my soul  
“what do you want me to say?” 

I stopped for a moment. This thing right here could be the end of me, I don’t know what I want from him, I know I shouldn’t… but the thrill in guessing whether he would succumb into this crime I am about to commit makes me high

“tell me you love me” His startled brown eyes met mine, gazing upon me. I wonder what he’s staring at, must be the devil herself 

He sighed and shifted his focus on the distant trees “you must be tired, you should head back to your sleeping quarter”

“No…” I gripped on his shirt and buried my face on his chest, such a bad desire to have on a night like this.

My sudden movement made him lean back a little, he slowly traced his fingers on my back, wrapped it into my shoulders but the flame I ignited died when he pulled me away from him.  
He looked into my eyes with those apologetic eyes  
“kid, get your mind right”

And what he did sunk my heart; I brought my hands down and gave up. I dragged myself and returned to the same seating position I was in before this freak of a mind conjured disaster.

Neither of us spoke until he did  
“get back to your quarter now, I’m going to sleep too” 

I planted my feet on the ground, the weight of what just happened haunted me as I was walking away. 

When I lay on the bed beside Shimizu, my eyes won’t close.

“He was right, I’m out of my goddamn mind” A little breath escaped my lips transitioning into a yawn as I slowly dozed off to sleep


	2. 2

The training camp ended, Ukai and I never spoke again. I don’t really have much to say around him and he was right, I was out of my mind. I was just confused. What was I thinking? he’s several years older than me, the gap is enough for me to lose my reputation.

Imagine that, a student no less than 18 going around with someone whom she could even call her father.

There’s no way that this is okay.

In the aftermath, when I was back at school, I never went near the gym again nor snuck out behind buildings to find my own bubble of quiet. It doesn’t matter anyway, I’ll never be able to grasp it again after the recent events.

*********

“where are you?” a text popped out on my cell phone screen which illuminated my eager face. It was currently 7 in the evening, exam week has just passed us by. Me and my friends ought to celebrate it considering it was a grueling battle of concentration and for someone who’s very distracted these days, I’m genuinely glad I made it.

I started typing “I’m on my way” but another text that popped out made me reconsider my decision to come along 

“be home by 8:30”

It was a text from my father. Oh I almost forgot, I lied just to be here. I told him I was going to a birthday party of a classmate…the truth is we’re going to a nearby bar.

But I’m not drinking, I don’t drink, my health condition tells me not to and even if I did drink, my father’s going to find out. He’s probably going to find out tomorrow that we actually went to a bar and there was no birthday party in the first place. I don’t know how he does it, but he always does.

I started walking, mesmerized by the evening. I had to be home by 8:30, which means I only have one hour, it’s all that I can get and that’s enough for me.

“𝗣𝗼𝗻 𝗙𝗹𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗼 𝗕𝗮𝗿" I stood underneath the neon sign, it illuminated my body. I was wearing a fitted knee-length red dress, nothing too revealing, a casual dress-up for the said “birthday party” indeed.

I was wondering what to do next but then I saw Pearl, one of my classmates who just arrived as well. 

She looked gorgeous in her sleeveless black top paired with a mini-skirt and beside her, I looked like someone who didn’t even try to dress up.

But it doesn’t matter anyway.

She excitedly dragged me inside the hallway whilst saying “come on!” and I held my breath. It was a norm for Pearl to be out here in these kinds of places but not for me, still I’m glad that she’s here to accompany my lame ass.

The guard standing just before the doors that lead to the bar examined our ID’s. I’m 19, not a minor anymore but still clueless about these things. I felt the treble of the muffled music that came from the room we were about to enter, the bouncer nodded and opened the door for us.

The music, the smell of alcohol, the energy of the party revealed itself unto me. I was overwhelmed, it was really loud and everyone was smiling. The dance floor was filled with people who just like us wanted to unwind. Pearl and I was swallowed by the crowd when we went stepped in and she immediately screamed over the music 

“WE NEED TO FIND OUR OTHER FRIENDS, THEY’RE ALREADY HERE!"

I started looking around and failed to see someone familiar and for the third time of the evening, Pearl dragged me again to a clear area where the tables were and all of my classmates raised their hands to get our attention.

I sat down and started talking, catching up about how everyone got here and how I’m not drinking if they don’t want someone dying on this circle of friends. I sometimes find myself swaying to the music or singing if I knew the song the DJ was playing.

The color of the disco lights, the bass of the beat against my skin, my friends really made me feel that this was a world that I never knew I needed.

We were served alcoholic drinks and I’m not having any of that. I don’t drink, I repeated a hundred times to my friends even before.

After a few whiny attempts, they gave up and had to let me have my way. I stood, pulled the hem of my skirt down to my knees and leaned in so that they could hear me better 

“I’m just going to get a drink” I pointed to the bar counter and they nodded in support

“if you get hit by a boy, tell us”

“get his number okay?”

“get that pussy pumped bitch”

“be careful out there”

A mixed of unnecessary comments was thrown at me the moment I started walking and we all burst into a roar of laughter. 

The mahogany accent of the bar counter gave a musky image to it, different from the dance floor behind me. I pulled a chair and called the bartender “non-alcoholic wine please” The bartender understood and whipped out a glass for me. While he was working, I pulled my phone from my pocket.

Of course this dress has pockets, what am I a cavewoman?

“7:50 PM” I sighed, it looks like this night is going to end sooner than I think.

“𝗕𝗼𝘆 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂, 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝗲  
𝗜 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗜 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹  
𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗿” 

High by the Beach by Lana Del Rey was booming through the club. It was dangerously seductive and I knew the song from the depths of my soul. Lana Del Rey is my go-to place to accommodate my thoughts that are rather kept secret. 

I finally had my drink handed to me on a wine glass. I gripped its stem and bought its sweet and non-acidic into my mouth.

“oi!” someone sat beside me. It must be one of the guys my friends warned me about.

I kept my eyes straight and didn’t even bother to give this man the attention that he’s looking for. 

Who are you trying to fool here?

I gulped my wine down to its last drop and pushed myself from the counter to go back to our table but before I could even do it, another comment was thrown at me again by the same man who was bothering me just now

“didn’t know you could drink like that” 

I looked at him and my eyes dilated for a few milliseconds in response to the skip of a beat my heart just took. 

“Coach!” I stuttered.

Lana Del Rey in the background made me think that the DJ orchestrated this whole shit.

“𝗕𝗹𝘂𝗲 𝗷𝗲𝗮𝗻𝘀, 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗿𝘁, 𝘄𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗺  
𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝗲𝘆𝗲𝘀 𝗯𝘂𝗿𝗻”

My inhibitions were stronger this time though as memories of the last time we ever talked sent a silent ache in my heart. 

“oi kid, you’re not supposed to be here” those lips muttered the same fucking line again.

I smiled at him. I shouldn’t see him as anything more than a teacher. 

𝙄'𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙧𝙮, 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙜𝙤𝙚𝙨.

I pulled myself deeper into my chair “I’m with my friends, we just went through hell week, at least give me a break”

The bartender gave him a drink. He carefully guided it to his lips. After he took a sip, his eyes found its way unto my fragile face again.

“glad you survived then, be careful in here” The blue tint of the disco light made him stand out even more. His blonde hair met his natural black hair color at the roots. He was wearing a black polo. I was so used to seeing him in a track suit, I dismissed the thought that he had other clothes.

I kept the conversation going “I know anyway, I heard our volleyball team won against 𝘴𝘩𝘴𝘩𝘴𝘩𝘴𝘩𝘴𝘩𝘴𝘩𝘴𝘩𝘴𝘩𝘴"

The music grew louder and I was aware he couldn’t hear me anymore but still, I kept talking, not giving my thoughts a room to manifest.

He suddenly leaned in closer and I died a little.

“don’t stop talking” he muttered against my ear, that was my line from before

I didn’t want my heart to beat so loudly, I hated hearing it.

I’d rather not breathe, 

I’d rather keep my mouth shut.

But screw his anonymity, I’m not afraid. 

I shifted my eyes to the bottles of wines displayed at the counter “what do you want me to say?” 

I felt his smile form on that lying mouth of his “tell me you love me”

Everyone in the club had no idea what’s unraveling between us, they probably think we’re on good terms and are just casually conversing 

My eyes widened “what? You think that’s a good joke?”

I was furious. I was over it, he didn’t have to joke around like that. My nerves almost exploded to the sound of the people screaming. He saw my face enraged under the disco lights.

He chuckled, giving me that sheepish look in his eyes “relax, I was just trying to make you laugh”

“fuck off” I scorned at him as I stood from the bar stool. He was probably looking at me as I hurriedly walked away, back to the table where my friends were.

He's an asshole and despite my tough exterior, I did feel embarrassed inside.

I knew I was wrong and I'm trying to make it right by actually going out, flirt with a dreamy high school jock, waste this night away, forget about that foolish incident...but you're here.

Why?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading my story, I will post another chapter soon. ♡´･ᴗ･`♡


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